Tuesday, 17 June 2008 21:26

Sex & Marriage?

What does it mean to be in a happy marriage? And is it normal for couples to rarely have sex or in many cases, not all, when they have been married for several years? What is normal sexual activity in a marriage? Is sex an important part of marriage? It should be!

I personally think, it is crucial to keep the sex and the passion alive in any relationship; long-term committed or marriage. Why? Because otherwise if the couple doesn't keep it fresh, doesn't keep the passion alive, then they just become relatives. To me, the reason to be bound with someone in marriage, is to make a permanent commitment to someone you love, respect and enjoying making love, to. The expression that comes out of that love and respect, is sex or making love. People seem to feel the need to get married and have a permanent connection with someone, only to drift apart and let their sexual intimacy and passion wane. I'm not sure why anyone would want to get married and then just be friends with his or her partner. What's the point of being married and not having sex with your partner and not being able to have sex with anyone else? At least that's what it means to be in a conventional marriage. When you and your partner are very rarely having sex, usually, it is often the case that one person in the relationship and sometimes even both partners in the relationship, will go outside of their marriage for sex. And of course, this ultimately creates a wedge between the couple, which inevitably could lead to the demise of their entire marriage.

So why do people turn off their sex drive once they get married? I realize, that priorities shift once you become married. Children for example, enter the picture and often times, this leaves the couple with very little private time. At least, that is what couples tell me. So, here is what I say about that, why not steal moments with your partner as if you were doing something tawdry and wrong? Make it more of an "us against them" when it comes to you and your spouse and your children. Maybe the kids are playing in the backyard and you and your husband or wife, can run into the bathroom for two minutes for a quick and spontaneous lovemaking session. Or maybe it's just simply 15 seconds of a crazy make-out session. If you're in a happy marriage where you find that your partner is the love of your life, you respect them, you're best friends with them, you have children with them, why not make having sex with them one of the top priorities? What do you have to lose?

I'm sure the romance is not as hot as it was in the very beginning of your courtship and because you're older, because you now have more responsibilities, money issues, children, stress, and lack of sleep. But, that's is exactly why you need to make romance, passion and sex, much higher on your list of priorities, that is, if you want to keep your marriage, your love life alive.

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