Tuesday, 18 December 2007 20:14

Do you have a dating strategy?

Have you ever wondered why you aren't meeting or dating many new people?

Well, when we were in our 20's we didn't really need a strategy. But, then we were also not looking to settle down or find love. We were out having fun, being adventurous and meeting new people everyday.

Then into our 30's we don't go out to bars as much anymore and clubs..well, I never liked clubs. So you go to dinner with friends or the occasional party. Some of your friends are in long-term relationships and some are married. They still know a few single people..but, the list is getting shorter. Meanwhile, you are still single. Now might be the time to figure out a dating strategy.

This means that you are going to be pro-active in reaching your long-term goal....to be in a committed long term relationship and hopefully marriage. But, first you need dates. Or candidates..as I like to call them.

So, what do you do......where do you begin?

Well, first, I'll just give a few examples of strategies that I know some people are currently using to find dates, which is the first step to finding a long term relationship.

Where do you work?

I know someone who owns restaurants and they have been using their place of business for years as their personal dating service or "strategy" to finding love. And if you work in a field where you are expected to be friendly and approachable, then it makes it much easier to approach someone and strike up an innocent friendly conversation. I know another person who is a hairdresser, he chats with clients all day and gets plenty of dates that way too.

So, deciding to be a bit friendlier in your work environment is a good place to start. NOTE: I am not talking about hitting on a coworker or customer. But, by simply smiling, striking up a conversation and (if it comes up) mentioning that you are single, you are now opening a new door to more possibilities. But, I realize there are also many of you who do not come in contact with a bevy of new people at work and some of you might even work from home. This is why, you especially, need to have a dating strategy.

I have put together a list of a few simple ways to create a strategy for dating and meeting new people.

*Join a group

By joining a group where you know no one and you enjoy the activity, you are guaranteed to meet new people and expand your circle, by expanding your circle, you are now opening yet another door to more possibilities.

*Try online dating

I know people who have tried it and gotten married, I have known people who have tried it and had no luck at all. But, what I do say about online dating is this; it provides you with the ability to meet people that you might not ever have met in your day-to-day life. The more people you meet and go out with....the better you will be at the art of making "dating conversation".

*Find activities you love doing

If there is something that you used to love to do...but, haven't done in awhile, go do it. Either go by yourself (which I recommend) or find a friend or neighbor to go with you. But, remember....try to make conversation with others....not just the person you have with you. As much as I don't like to go places by myself....it has ALWAYS forced me to talk to new people and help me meet people that I might not talk to if I have a friend along. I think going by yourself to an event or to do an activity is the best way to force you to talk to strangers. And I also think other people are more inclined to approach you when you are by yourself. Be brave! Try it!

*Volunteer

When you volunteer to help at a charity event, it not only makes you feel great...it makes other people approach you at the event. They will usually be asking questions, need help with whatever activity is going on, and in general I feel most people tend to let their guard down at charity events. People get into the spirit of helping others and they tend to forget they are talking to strangers...because; after-all you are all there for the same cause. That is a conversation starter and often times is a bonding experience between otherwise, perfect strangers.

The goal is to expand your circle. By finding a dating strategy that works for you and putting that strategy into action you will have more dates, the more dates you have, the better your chance at finding love.

If you are the type of person that really is determined to increase your chance at finding love, you also might want to consider hiring a personal matchmaker. A matchmaker's goal is to find love for you. They do the searching based on what you are looking for in a mate. They search through their personal data base of eligible singles, as well as approach anyone where ever they are. If they spot someone who appears to fit your criteria they will approach them and ask if they are single and tell them they have someone they would like to introduce them to. Most people are extremely flattered and impressed to be approached by a matchmaker and are very willing to meet the matchmakers client.

What will be your dating strategy for the New Year?

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