Happy 20013!! It's a new year and this year you have the opportunity to achieve new goals. But, wait—before you make your list of "new goals", you should look back at your list from last year. Did you accomplish all of your goals from 2012? Well, I took a look my list from last year and while I actually accomplished some great things I had not even put on my list, I also didn't reach several of my goals that were on my list. And the reason was simple. Other than write them down and think about them from time to time. I took no action to try to reach them. And the only reason that I accomplished anything in 2012—is because of the action I did take. So, it all comes down to, DOING.
Thinking about something is the first step. Talking about something is another step, writing it down is another step, but they will be steps to nowhere if you don't have an action plan to actually make them happen.
Let's say "finding the one" is one of your goals for 2013. Well, how in the world can you make THAT happen? Here is an example of a possible action plan (if this was my goal).
I would think long and hard about the type of person I REALLY am and from there I would think about what I wanted most in a partner.
I would list my number one criteria that was an ABSOLUTE must have for me. (it could be: Super handsome, successful, smart, funny, athletic, an artist, a surfer.....(anything that a guy HAS to be—but only one)
Then I would write down 3 three things that I would like to have in common with him.
So (hypothetically) my list might look like this:
- Super Smart (must have)
- Nature lover
You could put anything that is important to you.
O.K. now that I know what I'm looking for (notice I didn't mention appearance because to me it doesn't matter as much as the other things on my list—I also think it's unrealistic to say to the universe---he MUST look like this...). But, to each his own, so your list, is your list.
Then, I'd take an honest look at myself to see if I was the equal to what I was looking for in a mate---even ask friends their opinion or assessment of you (hopefully you can find someone who is willing and brave enough to be honest with you). Now armed and ready---it's time to go get that job! Ooopps, I mean---that man (or woman). Just as if you were going to find a job—you'd be VERY prepared, right? So, the same rule applies if your goal this year is to "find the one".
It's important that you feel good about yourself. I think this is the number one thing we don't think about when we are looking for a partner. We can't expect to "reel in" a great guy (or girl), if we aren't projecting great vibes. And by that, I mean: Confidence, happiness, love, and warmth. If we are going into the world bitter, jaded or judgmental---there is no way that we will find love and happiness. Like attracts like. So you have to BE the person that you want to ATTRACT. If he's fit—get fit—if he surf's---surf, if he's a humanitarian—be a humanitarian. And for men---again, if she's fit—get fit, if she's interesting, be interesting, etc. And if you're much older and you want much younger—get RICH! Very rich! LOL!
O.K.—joking aside, once you've feel like you are the best person you can be in all areas of your life and you're being realistic about the right match for you, you are now ready to go to the next phase: the actual search. Obviously people are everywhere, so you need to look your best everywhere you go, because you will NEVER get a second chance at a missed opportunity with that cute guy you just passed in the parking lot. If you can hire a stylist to take you shopping, do it. Just make sure you look and feel great—inside and out.
You look great and you feel great, so act like it! Turn your "cab light" on. Smile and make eye contact with everyone—especially that cutie that just walked passed you, parked next to you, or that's coming towards you. DO NOT look away. How the hell will that help? And if you really want to achieve your goal—say "hi". And make saying "yes" your motto this year. Want to go out? "Yes". Can I have your number? "Yes" Want to go to a party? "Yes". Keep saying "YES" this year to all offers that come your way. (Within reason, of course.)
Use any and all resources when it comes to your search. Use online dating sites, matchmakers, friends, groups---and going it alone is always a great way to meet new people. I always say: use any and all roads that are available to you. And to people who say: I believe in serendipity—"I won't be "proactive" because when it happens, it happens." To that, I say: Serendipity might be Match.com or a matchmaker or telling your friends "hey guys, this is the year I want to meet someone, so if you know of anyone great—set me up!" Those are the things that bring serendipitous results.
So if "finding the one" this year, is your goal, remember:
- Be proactive, open minded and determined.
- Make finding love your priority over anything else
- Truly believe it will happen
And it will. Use the same formula for ANY goal you have for yourself this year—be laser focused, keep your eye on the ball at all times and you will knock it out of the park!