My top ten reasons why you should be glad you're single.
10. You can date, talk to and kiss anyone you want.
9. You can look any way you want to, any time you want to.
8. You look younger. Research has found single people look younger and are usually in better shape.
7. You can have sex with a different partner every night of the week, if you want to.
6. You don't have to deal with any relationship drama.
5. Being single means you are constantly meeting new people and going new places.
4. Your possibilities are endless.
3. You can take over the entire bed.
2. Your hand or your vibrator never disappoints.
1. The possibility that you could marry George Clooney or Cameron Diaz is still a possibility.
This week I have been talking about how we are so eager to open our arms...and our hearts to someone merely based on what we see in front of us. As if, that persons history has no bearing what so ever on the here and now. And let me tell you..it does and it should! We have historians for a reason....so, that facts and information..good and bad..will NEVER be forgotten. Why is someones credit history so important? Because tells a story of a persons character and accountability. Yet, why is it...when a man or a woman shows up..in the right clothes...with the hot body or beautiful car..or just telling us what we want to hear in that moment...that, that is all it takes. We choose to ignore or even look into the persons history or moral character. Has he/she ever cheated? "Well, he/she won't with me!" Has that person ever neglected their child? "Well, they wouldn't do that to our child!" Has that person ever committed a crime, had drug convictions, gotten fired from jobs or even been irresponsible with their pets?
If you were worked for a car dealership and you reviewed the persons credit report, would you be able to give him the car? If you were interviewing this person to work for you, would you hire them based on their work history and personal references? Stop and think for a minute.....if you wouldn't even consider hiring this person....based on their proven track record...then why on earth would you allow yourself the possibility of falling in love with them? The answer is simple. You place more value in protecting the interest of a company, than in, protecting your own heart and future. Isn't your heart...your life...a little more valuable than a car? Of course it is! So, in the future..before the "I love yous" get the facts, ask the questions, listen to the answers and let their story..their personal history...be the deciding factor...not the wine and roses. Because once the romance is gone..all that you and your heart will be left with..is the persons moral character.
I have been having discussions lately with men and women on the subject of....."How does a man approach a woman in a social setting?" "Or why doesn't a man approach a woman in a social setting?"
You always hear beautiful women on T.V. say "I can't get a date." and "Men are just too afraid to approach me." I really find it extremely hard to believe, that if Cindy Crawford or Heidi Klum were in a bar and not famous..that most men wouldn't be chatting them up right and left and asking them out.
I'm not sure if I believe in this "he's too imtimidated" thing. I do believe that many men when they see an attractive woman may not approach her because they think she might be in a relationship...but, again, I say..if she were Heidi Klum..he'd give it a shot anyway.
But, what to do if you are not Heidi Klum or Cindy Crawford? Well, it seems the easiest way to convey interest to a man from across the room (without, you approaching the man) is to make eye contact....real and direct eye contact, for what might seem like an eternity (about 5 or 10 secs) and give him a smile. The tactic that I have used for years is to smile and chat with the other guy, that I'm not interested in...and you know what always happens...that is the guy, that will end up asking me out. Why, because I smiled and made eye contact with him, the guy I wasn't interested in. So, clearly the tactic that I have been using to get the cute guy I like, to ask me out..doesn't work. But, it does, if you want to go out with his unattractive friend. Just go after what you want.
I mean really, what have you got to lose? Who cares if he thinks you are staring at him...you are! He will either be a man and approach you or he won't, it's as simle as that. Now, what do you have to lose by not making eye contact and giving him a signal that you are available and interested? Well, how about a possible date with a cute guy, for starters. And men..are you really intimidated or just not interested enough to take action?
I agree with the adage that says: It's better to act and to regret / Than to regret not to have acted. - Mellin de Saint-Gelais
These days with all of the gadgets and gizmo's out now our lives should be easier..right?
Well, when it comes to dating, it seems that some technology has been proven to be very useful for dating, while the misuse of technology has made dating more difficult and frustrating.
For example, online dating is a great way to meet people you might not ordinarily meet in your day-to-day life. You see someone you like on a dating site and send them an email. And because of email; you are now able to communicate faster and in a more private way. Rather than giving out a phone number to a complete stranger, giving out your email address is a safer alternative. However, it can also be a very impersonal way to communicate with someone. Often times on dating sites, you might come across the person that seems to just send emails with absolutely no interest in taking the next step. This is also true with people you meet anywhere.
If you are at the point where someone has your telephone number as well as your email...yet they still just email, then something's wrong. Either they are not really available or they are not really interested in you. Getting email from someone you are interested in is fun at first. But, if it becomes the only means of communicating, then someone is going to get bored and eventually loose interest. Then there are text messages. Obviously, if someone is texting you, then they have your phone number. Texting is a great way to flirt and just say a quick "hi" " I'm thinking about you". But, if it is being over used and not in combination with real phone calls...it becomes obvious very quickly, that the "texter" is just playing games and killing time. Not to mention..running up your text-messaging bill!
How did people date before answering machines, cell phones and computers? Well, since they didn't have the modern day conveniences we do, people had to make an EFFORT to get together with someone. They had to mean it, when they said, "I'll call you" or 'Want to go out next week?" Because it was harder to make contact, plans had to be made in advance and kept. When someone picked you up for a date....that was it, it was just the two of you..no interruptions. No cell phones to answer, no texts to send out. If you are not a doctor or a single parent, I see no reason to even bring your cell phone on a date. Period.
Dating with modern technology in review
1. If you have someone's phone number or they have yours...call to ask them out or cancel a date. No emails or text when it comes to making or canceling plans.
2. Don't over text. Say "Hi" or 'I'm thinking about you" or 'I'm late'. Anymore than that....call them.
3. No cell phones on dates. If you have to bring it, keep it in the car.
How to avoid game playing from the beginning.
If you are on a first or second date, and you think you might be interested in seeing this person again, I suggest paying attention to signals or conversation that perhaps your date has given about things they would like to do in the future. For example, if she's mentioned the new art exhibit that she wants to see...or a new restaurant that sounds interesting....then at the end of the date you should suggest checking it out for next time. If she says yes, then follow up by saying you'll call mid week to figure out a plan. This let's both of you know that you'll being seeing each other again soon. Then make sure you call on the day you are supposed to....and no sooner. I think that calling the day after is nice, but not necessary on the first or second date. In fact, sometimes it can feel like too much to soon.
If you've said at the end of the date that you'll call mid week, then call mid week—leave it at that.
Always walk her to her car and wait until she drives off
If she has her car in valet...you will score BIG bonus points if you walk her to the valet and pay the valet for her parking, she can tip.
Open doors for her and let her always go first
If she offers to pay or chip in....ALWAYS say no
Never answer your phone when on a date
Don't try too hard
Don't try to be funny
And genuinely be interested in what she has to say
These are my opinion's based on my personal experience over the years. But, it seems I'm not alone in my opinion.
Just as I was getting ready to post my "do's and don'ts" on my blog, I came across an article on yahoo.
I've posted it below. I really agree with the part about communication. in fact, I agree with it all. Enjoy this iinteresting and helpful article.
From Yahoo.com homepage 12-9-2007
Andrea Syrtash gets the scoop from daters -- females and males -- about the top mistakes men make when they're dating. See how to avoid those mistakes
How many times have you gone on what you thought was an amazing date only to find that the person never calls back or doesn't seem interested when you try to book another date?
Dating can be awkward, and everyone makes mistakes. Of course, there are some instances in which the person you like doesn't follow up and it has nothing to do with you (e.g,. an ex comes back into her life...don't you love that?). But often it's simple things we do (or don't do) that prevent us from making a connection.
During the past few years, I've interviewed hundreds of daters and asked them what they were looking for, and it's amazing to hear the same themes. Women have certainly complained to me about the biggest mistakes they feel that men make in dating, so I thought I'd share the secrets. (Don't worry -- I have plenty of material on the mistakes women make, but that's for a future installment.)
Top Five Dating Mistakes That Men Make
1. Men Show Off or Try to Impress Too Much. Don't offer your resume, your earning potential, and tell us how you'll change our lives the first time we meet you. Instead of talking about yourself the whole night, ask questions! Don't come on too strong right away. Let us figure out if we want to be with you, instead of telling us we do.
2. Men Don't Listen to Us When We're Talking. We notice if you stop listening to us, if you ask us questions we just answered, or if you keep interrupting us when we're opening up. This drives most women nuts! Unless you're on call, don't check your Blackberry at dinner and don't check out other women. Focus on the woman across the table from you and listen to what she has to say.
3. Men Aren't Chivalrous. The lines here are not always clear. We want you to treat us like equals, but we also want you to treat us like women. It's nice when a man picks up the tab or makes sure his date gets home safely. It may be old-fashioned, but a number of women report that dating a gentleman matters.
4. Men Don't Take Initiative. Men, how many times have you caught yourself saying, "I don't know" or "Whatever you'd like" when planning a date? If you've asked a woman out, a better approach is to give a few fun and creative date options and ask her to pick one.
Initiative doesn't mean ordering for a woman at a restaurant or ordering a woman around! It does mean confidently approaching your date with ideas, passion and interest. It also means you can be flirty and forward, letting her know how amazing you think she looks or how much you want to kiss her.
5. Men Say They'll Call and Then Don't. It's no surprise that acting like you're going to follow up when you're not bothers most women (and never underestimate the way word travels about you not keeping your word!). Better to end a date by saying, "It was nice to meet you. Have a good night." Don't act like you're going to follow up if you're not. If you've gone out more than a few times, be honest that while you enjoy your date's company, you don't feel a romantic connection.
Just remember, communication is usually the way to go with a woman.
There are always exceptions, so I don't believe there are absolute rights and wrongs in dating -- but there are strategies. If you follow these simple steps, you'll be ahead in the dating game. At least you'll get an 'A' for effort.