Men, please read the following email sent to a woman (as a first email) on an online dating site. I truly feel bad for him, because he sounds like a good guy. Poor guy, he's just saying waaaay too much, it's all about him, it's clear he never even read her profile and it's obviously a "cut and paste" job that he sends out to every lady. So read his email below and take heed!
"nibbling on sponge cake...watching the sun bake....
"nibbling on sponge cake...watching the sun bake...all the tourists covered with oil"...
that's me an island boy...just did a gig in Key West, Florida...singing tropical songs...
I'm Matt, my profession is an architecture, I'm a lead designer in a major LA architectural firm...
I'm what everyone calls a 'creative'. I'm a song writer, poet and artist. In fact all those three come out in my designs. smile. I'm putting together a benefit for a horse rescue ranch...in late June so I'm working on the song list for the evening of wine, food and music...it should be a lot of fun...talking to a lot of my musician and singer friends to volunteer for a good cause.
Driven but easy going...strange combination...most people just view the easy going part...but a lot gets accomplished this life is way too short to waste it. Have begun to show my paintings...just did a small show in Soho, NY. People were great and receptive...love to paint people...very figurative in my art. Published my first two children's books last fall and they are now available on Amazon...funny my kids had no clue I was going to do a series of tales I used to tell them as kids. They had a bang when they found dedicated the book to them...they were tickled.
I've been blessed...no other way to say it...5 gorgeous and talented grown kids...I love my work...love my hobbies... still I want to find that special someone to explore with and live this fun life.
Have fun this week...I am.
This is a question that I have been asking people for a while now. Let's face it, we all have our reasons. Or are they excuses? According to my married friend Karen, the ONLY reason anyone is single, is because they want to be. Hmmmm. Well, I guess if we took Karen's theory completely literally, we could all be married if we were willing to grab any old jackass that looked at us and smiled. But, I think that the majority of us aren't THAT desperate to get married that we are willing to marry the first parolee who crosses our path and asks us to marry them. But, then there is the other side of the coin. And on the other side of the coin is what I consider to be the number one reason why most of us are single, UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. It is a very very big problem. I notice this especially at my various singles events. When you put a group of single people in a room together and ask them to list who they are interested in, you can bet that EVERY guy will pick all of the prettiest women and all of the women will pick ALL of the cutest guys. Now, when it comes to attractive people...there's no problem there. Attractive people will always be attracted to each other, of course. But, the problem with unrealistic expectations lies with those people that aren't a 10 or a 9 or an 8 or 7 even a 6. I'm talking about people who are on the 1 to 5 scale. 5 being just average, not unattractive but not attractive either. The people in the 1 to 5 range NEVER seem to want each other....EVER. And I'm not sure if it is because they are completely unaware of their "number" or they know their "number" but, feel that in spite of their short comings they are entitled to someone way out of their league. Or maybe they want a trophy to prove to the world that they are much more than an ugly duckling. I'm not sure; I just know that people are way too concerned with someone's temporary shiny outer shell rather, than look past the superficial. I really wish more single people who want to find love would choose their dates and future mates on what really matters most and what is not going to change with time, and that is a person's intelligence and moral character, within their "number range" whether it's 1 to 5 or 6 to 10. So, tell me, what is your number? Do you think you have unrealistic expectations? Why are you single?
My top ten reasons why you should be glad you're single.
10. You can date, talk to and kiss anyone you want.
9. You can look any way you want to, any time you want to.
8. You look younger. Research has found single people look younger and are usually in better shape.
7. You can have sex with a different partner every night of the week, if you want to.
6. You don't have to deal with any relationship drama.
5. Being single means you are constantly meeting new people and going new places.
4. Your possibilities are endless.
3. You can take over the entire bed.
2. Your hand or your vibrator never disappoints.
1. The possibility that you could marry George Clooney or Cameron Diaz is still a possibility.
If you are like most people, there will come a time in your life where you are stuck, in your love life or just in your life. Are you alone? Are you in a bad or just boring relationship? Well, it's a new year and there is no better time to look back at what got you to this place in life and look ahead to where you would like it to go in the future. Now, take a good look at the present and the changes you need to make. I recommend, instead of the usual "baby steps" or "sticking your toe in the water".....if a change is what you what, then you must plunge into action. Now!
One of my big changes last year was starting my own internet radio show, called "Love Life Makeovers" where each week I have a featured guest who has insight or advice on anything and all things love related. And if you had told me this time last year, that I would have this show..(that has become hugely popular)...I would have said "no way." So, I speak from experience when I give you the following advice on changing your life for the better. I hope it helps.
Here are a few suggestions to get you started, although, everyone's "sticking point" is different..the idea is to take an honest look at your life and what is holding you back and to tackle it in a big way. But, I have listed big and small changes...for those who aren't quite ready yet.
Step 1: If you are tired of looking at you're same old place...change it. If you can't move (which would be the best way for a huge change, because it changes who you meet at the grocery store, gas station and changes your whole life) then just redecorate your place. Sell your furniture on craigslist..or trade it in..or just move it around and recover. Paint. Painting a room is an instant affordable, change. Put new or vintage knobs on your doors and cabinets. Get new pictures for your walls. You can even just start small, with your bathroom. Any change is change. FYI...changing your bedroom, even what you wear to bed...is a great place to start with changing your current love situation. Freshen it up, spice it up.
Step 2: Start going to new places...even just to run errands or walk your dogs.
Step 3: Smile and say "Hi" to anyone and everyone. I can't tell you how much positive attention I get from people when I walk around with a smile on my face. And not a huge "I'm crazy" smile..but, a pleasant, friendly smile. And make sure you are aware of your facial expression at all times. Even just smiling when you're by yourself..will put you in a better mood. This might sound strange...but, it works.
Step 4: If you don't like your career....do something about it. Look around for other work opportunities or even sign up to do community work. This might open new job opportunities and will most certainly allow you to meet new people.
Step 5: Change your love life. Change your life. If you are single and lonely or in a unhappy relationship ...nothing will change until you make it happen. The other person will never change....you are the only one that can make your life better. So, maybe you need to start going to therapy or you need to join a women's or men's support group (whether you're single or in a relationship). If you're single, join online dating sites and choose differently. Do not choose dates based on looks. Make choices based on inner qualities that you seek in someone. If you don't want to do online dating, then join a "meetup" (meetup.com is a free web site, where you can find a group for anything you like to do).
All of the steps mentioned above will change your love life in one way or another. Because when you start the ball rolling for any type of change, you will be amazed at how it just keeps rolling and rolling. The key is to keep it rolling, by making changes. Make an agreement with yourself to do something everyday or just once a week, that you normally never do. If you do this now, then next year at this time you will look back on your life and you will be so amazed and proud of all of the changes you have made.
The best thing that I did for myself last year..that started the ball rolling for me, was, I made a sign that said "What Did You Do To Change Your Life Today?" and I put it where I would see it at the end of everyday. I can't tell you how many many many changes that happened in my life last year, all for the better...and this year, there is still more change to come. It's fun, it's exciting and necessary. The best quote I heard recently was: "The only difference between a rut and a grave, is the depth". So what are you waiting for? Give yourself a love life makeover now!
And if you have any questions, I'm always here to help.