Talk about frustrating. People are always asking for my advice and I love to help, but when my advice falls on deaf ears, it can be incredibly frustrating. Just imagine people armed with the advice they need, yet ignoring it completely, meanwhile continuing to get hurt over and over.
For example: "When should I sleep with him?" This is one of the most frequently asked questions and my answer to this question, is based on the many conversations I have had with my male clients. Ladies, do not sleep with a guy until you KNOW that you are in a REAL relationship with him. Otherwise, you run the risk of: A) Getting your feelings hurt B) Thinking he's a player. Women will ask me: "Is he a player?" and then they proceed to sleep with him right away! And let's be straight with each other ladies, it's usually us who are more of the aggressors. And the reason is this:
we think sleeping with a guy we like, will move the "relationship" along faster. And like I say in my book Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend, we think our—Hoo Ha has magical powers and will transform that hot guy we just met, into our boyfriends. WRONG!
It doesn't work that way. In fact, it usually causes the implosion of what could have "turned into" a relationship had you not turned into the "Needy Bitch" when you didn't get the response you were hoping to get, when you slept with him. So, I guess, your Hoo Ha is magical in a sense, it will make him disappear!
Even I have been surprised to hear my male clients saying: "I didn't want to go that fast, but I felt pushed." Yep, from you ladies. I think a guy feels like he can't resist a woman's advances because she'll feel rejected and he will look like less of man.
So listen, I'm telling you...WAIT until you know you are really in a relationship with a good guy who treats you right and who's actions are consistent and dependable. Getting to know someone takes time. So why risk ruining it by rushing?
"Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend" is this year's most honest, straightforward and hilarious relationship advice book.
With years of experience working as a matchmaker for the most eligible bachelors around the world, relationship expert Gina Hendrix holds nothing back in her debut book, "Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend" (ISBN 0615571999).
This dynamic relationship advice book lays out for its reader 16 different "bitches" – assigning tongue-in-cheek names to the various archetypal behavior categories that women who self-destruct in relationships tend to fall into. Everything from: the all business bitch to needy bitch to freaky bitch and beyond.
The book is laugh out loud funny and is structured around the question, "Which bitch are you?" and urges its reader to identify what she's been doing wrong. "The way the advice is given is very unique," Hendrix says. "I don't patronize or coddle; I deliver the straight scoop that women need to hear. But, I do it in a funny and real way, similar to what a close friend would want to say, but can't."
Straight scoop is certainly Hendrix's mantra. For each chapter or "bitch" that Hendrix introduces, she shares relevant real-life stories that she has encountered in her life and career. "These are the worst-case scenario versions of each of these destructive behaviors," says Hendrix, "I have seen women do some things that even I couldn't believe!"
Accompanying these anecdotes is a bounty of sound advice from Hendrix, who clearly has compassion for the women she's trying to help. Hendrix dispenses her words of wisdom in a way that is relatable, lively and funny, but is ultimately constructive, informative and very worthwhile.
"Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend" is available for sale online at Amazon.com and other channels.
About the Author: Gina Hendrix is a highly regarded personal matchmaker. Her clients are some of the most eligible men in Hollywood and around the world. She is often regarded as the "Billionaire Matchmaker." Hendrix is the founder of Exclusive Introductions, an ultra premium matchmaking service located in Los Angeles. In addition to matchmaking, Hendrix has a weekly radio show called "Beyond Beautiful," where she has candid conversations with the world's most beautiful and intriguing women about life, love and the pursuit of happiness.
Phone: (310) 293-9203
REVIEW COPIES AND INTERVIEWS AVAILABLE
Don't you hate that question! Then you say, "Yes" and it's usually followed by a suspicious look followed by the question "why?" AWKWARD!
Well, how do you respond, wait..I already know...you hem and haw and then finally just give them some BS excuse just to move the conversation along to another subject...fast.
So, between you and me....what is the answer? What seems to be keeping you from being in a loving and healthy relationship? Well, that is exactly why I wrote the book Stop Being a Bitch ad Get a Boyfriend....so you can finally get to the bottom of why a relationship eludes you. Here is an excerpt from the chapter called
Coming soon to a theatre near you...
A horror story of epic proportions! When a beautiful girl with winning qualities is bitten by a mutant bug it plants a parasite in her brain. This particularly terrifying parasite eats away at the brain of the poor unsuspecting girl, and worse: the only way to keep the parasite from eating her alive is to feed it compliments and validation from poor, unfortunate, unsuspecting humans. The infected girl tries as hard as she can to avoid feeding on her friends and boyfriend, but before long, the parasite (more commonly known as insecurity) is growing and growing and GROWING! And as the insecurity grows, it gets HUNGRIER! The once wonderful girl is quickly transformed into a practically unrecognizable creature! BEWARE! It's the Insecure Bitch! She's running loose, and she's taking her friends and boyfriend hostage! She's feeding on their compliments and validation, and it won't be long before she's hungry for more! Her victims, meanwhile, are running scared!
YIKES! Unfortunately, for many girls, this is more than just a movie—it's real life. Could this crazed creature be you?
My new book Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend is available on Amazon
I found this today on CNN and thought you might enjoy this news!(Health.com) -- You've heard (and tried) it all before: down a dozen oysters, watch a marathon of sultry movies, get a couples massage.
Even if these usual turn-ons work for you, sooner or later they start to feel tired -- which may make you less likely to respond to them, says Irwin Goldstein, M.D., director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego.
Luckily, science has discovered a few more offbeat things that crank up your desire. Try one out tonight!
Consider taking a surfing lesson together instead of a romantic walk on the beach. After being in an adrenaline-pumping situation (say, watching a suspenseful flick or going zip-lining), men and women find the opposite sex more alluring, suggests a study in the "Archives of Sexual Behavior."
"When you're doing something exciting, your heart is racing and your nervous system is activated, much like they would be if you were sexually aroused," explains Cindy Meston, Ph.D., the study's lead researcher and co-author of "Why Women Have Sex." Just don't use up all your energy riding the waves!
Health.com: The secret to hotter sex
Swap bubbly for red wine
Romantic dinner? Order a glass of Pinot Noir or other red wine: Women who drank a glass of red daily reported higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication, compared with those who sipped any kind of alcohol only occasionally or those who didn't drink at all, according to a study in the "Journal of Sexual Medicine."
Researchers suspect that red wine's high levels of polyphenols, a type of antioxidant, may help blood vessels widen, which can increase blood flow to key arousal areas. Stick to one glass, advises lead author Nicola Mondaini, M.D.; any more may extinguish your libido.
Health.com: 7 foods for better sex
Be a poser
Yoga does more than just get you limber -- it may boost your libido, too, suggests a review published in the "Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy." Getting your om on makes you more familiar with your body, which in turn can help you get more in touch with your sexuality.
While the report looked predominantly at women with sexual problems, "certainly anyone can benefit," says Lori Brotto, Ph.D., the lead author. Bonus: Yoga may also improve your orgasms by increasing blood flow down there.
Health.com: 10 best workouts for your sex life
Locking fingers with your sweetie is, well, sweet -- but can it make you hot and bothered? Absolutely. "Even little acts of touching your partner release oxytocin, a hormone that may boost closeness and arousal," Goldstein says.
The trick is to be spontaneous, he adds. That out-of-the-blue excitement is what prompts your body to pump out oxytocin and other neurotransmitters related to sexual response, so choose unexpected times to get a little grabby.
Health.com: 28 days to a healthier relationship
See (him in) red
Turns out, your man wearing this fiery hue can put you in the mood, suggests a University of Rochester study. "Red is a signal of status and power, and that turns women on," explains psychology professor Andrew J. Elliot, Ph.D., lead author of the study.
So, crazy as it sounds, urge him to wear the red shirt on date night -- you may want to tear it off him before dessert.
Take a whiff
Chances are, the smell of a sweaty gym does not get you all worked up. But the scent of your man post-workout might do just that. Sniffing his sweat can increase your level of the stress hormone cortisol, which may boost arousal, reports a study in the Journal of Neuroscience.
Consider hitting the gym together (exercising has also been found to flip our switch), or just snuggle close when he walks in after his workout. Then hit the showers -- together.
Copyright Health Magazine 2010
First let me say, online dating is great for most people. However, the majority of my clients prefer to keep their dating life anonymous and private, therefore they don't usually use online dating sites. As for me, I'm more like you. I work a lot, most of my friends are in relationships and I spend all day in front of the computer. So, naturally, online dating is an easy way for me to meet people whom might not normally cross my path. Unfortunately, the majority of the men I see online are men I would rather NOT ever cross paths with online or off.
That being said, I know there are really great, marriage-minded catches out there that are using online dating sites; you just have to know how to spot the keepers.
A great way to weed through the possibilities and move you one step closer to finding your love match is by scoping out profile photos. Of course, we all use these photos to decide which men to contact. However, I'm sure many of you simply look at the photo but don't see the whole picture. Some of these photos might seem appealing, but don't be fooled. A photo can help you determine which guy might love himself more than he could ever love you or who might not be exactly what he seems.
Here is a list of things to look for when perusing the photos:
- Any man who is just too cute or too sexy: Avoid this guy or you will be in a long line with every other woman on the site. And he knows it! Why would a kid want to ever leave a candy store?
- Any man who has his shirt off.
- Posing and making cutesy or weird faces or just being too silly.
- Too stylish.
- Too perfect of a "headshot": Airbrushing and Photoshop can be very deceiving.
- Too much of a bad boy.
- An overgrown kid.
- Photo resembles a mug shot or Wanted poster.
- Any man who has 10, 12, or 20-something photos of himself.
- His screen name can be a window to his psyche as well, so be ware.
Now, that we've gotten that out of the way. Here is what you should be looking for when you view the photos:
- A guy with a genuine smile.
- A guy who isn't trying too hard.
- A guy who just looks like a regular guy—not a model, not an actor, not a bad boy, or a comedian, or James Bond.
- A guy who isn't too put together, but not disheveled either. Just simple, not flashy or too cool.
- A guy who only has two or three photos.
- A guy who's photos might be a little out of focus, because he's just a regular guy who isn't that concerned with "perfect" photos.
Finally, a guy who looks too perfect or sounds too perfect is also looking for perfection in his lady. So chances are, even if you go out with him, he will be looking for any flaw and he will find it, because no one is perfect. Look for a guy who looks like a "good guy". Going for just the shiniest object on the page will prove to be a waste of time and energy.
Men, please read the following email sent to a woman (as a first email) on an online dating site. I truly feel bad for him, because he sounds like a good guy. Poor guy, he's just saying waaaay too much, it's all about him, it's clear he never even read her profile and it's obviously a "cut and paste" job that he sends out to every lady. So read his email below and take heed!
"nibbling on sponge cake...watching the sun bake....
"nibbling on sponge cake...watching the sun bake...all the tourists covered with oil"...
that's me an island boy...just did a gig in Key West, Florida...singing tropical songs...
I'm Matt, my profession is an architecture, I'm a lead designer in a major LA architectural firm...
I'm what everyone calls a 'creative'. I'm a song writer, poet and artist. In fact all those three come out in my designs. smile. I'm putting together a benefit for a horse rescue ranch...in late June so I'm working on the song list for the evening of wine, food and music...it should be a lot of fun...talking to a lot of my musician and singer friends to volunteer for a good cause.
Driven but easy going...strange combination...most people just view the easy going part...but a lot gets accomplished this life is way too short to waste it. Have begun to show my paintings...just did a small show in Soho, NY. People were great and receptive...love to paint people...very figurative in my art. Published my first two children's books last fall and they are now available on Amazon...funny my kids had no clue I was going to do a series of tales I used to tell them as kids. They had a bang when they found dedicated the book to them...they were tickled.
I've been blessed...no other way to say it...5 gorgeous and talented grown kids...I love my work...love my hobbies... still I want to find that special someone to explore with and live this fun life.
Have fun this week...I am.
This is a question that I have been asking people for a while now. Let's face it, we all have our reasons. Or are they excuses? According to my married friend Karen, the ONLY reason anyone is single, is because they want to be. Hmmmm. Well, I guess if we took Karen's theory completely literally, we could all be married if we were willing to grab any old jackass that looked at us and smiled. But, I think that the majority of us aren't THAT desperate to get married that we are willing to marry the first parolee who crosses our path and asks us to marry them. But, then there is the other side of the coin. And on the other side of the coin is what I consider to be the number one reason why most of us are single, UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. It is a very very big problem. I notice this especially at my various singles events. When you put a group of single people in a room together and ask them to list who they are interested in, you can bet that EVERY guy will pick all of the prettiest women and all of the women will pick ALL of the cutest guys. Now, when it comes to attractive people...there's no problem there. Attractive people will always be attracted to each other, of course. But, the problem with unrealistic expectations lies with those people that aren't a 10 or a 9 or an 8 or 7 even a 6. I'm talking about people who are on the 1 to 5 scale. 5 being just average, not unattractive but not attractive either. The people in the 1 to 5 range NEVER seem to want each other....EVER. And I'm not sure if it is because they are completely unaware of their "number" or they know their "number" but, feel that in spite of their short comings they are entitled to someone way out of their league. Or maybe they want a trophy to prove to the world that they are much more than an ugly duckling. I'm not sure; I just know that people are way too concerned with someone's temporary shiny outer shell rather, than look past the superficial. I really wish more single people who want to find love would choose their dates and future mates on what really matters most and what is not going to change with time, and that is a person's intelligence and moral character, within their "number range" whether it's 1 to 5 or 6 to 10. So, tell me, what is your number? Do you think you have unrealistic expectations? Why are you single?
If you aren't following me on Twitter, then you miss my daily love life tips. Here is a compilation of my recent tips:
Your Love Life Tip of the Day
Nothing you do will change anyone but you
Men want to chase and hunt it's their nature
Like the one who likes you
Cheaters never change, they just get better at it
Like who you love and love who you like
Character lasts longer than looks
Be careful who you fall in love with
Love the way you want to be loved
Expect nothing in return
Appreciate the little things
Do one new thing each day that you wouldn't normally do
If you're not happy find out why
If you're lonely reach out to those who need your help
Love and respect yourself first
A healthy relationship is lifts you up
An unhealthy relationship holds you back
Don't waste your love on a loser
Pay attention to the actions, not the words
Don't forget your friends, they with stick with you through it all
My top ten reasons why you should be glad you're single.
10. You can date, talk to and kiss anyone you want.
9. You can look any way you want to, any time you want to.
8. You look younger. Research has found single people look younger and are usually in better shape.
7. You can have sex with a different partner every night of the week, if you want to.
6. You don't have to deal with any relationship drama.
5. Being single means you are constantly meeting new people and going new places.
4. Your possibilities are endless.
3. You can take over the entire bed.
2. Your hand or your vibrator never disappoints.
1. The possibility that you could marry George Clooney or Cameron Diaz is still a possibility.
This week I have been talking about how we are so eager to open our arms...and our hearts to someone merely based on what we see in front of us. As if, that persons history has no bearing what so ever on the here and now. And let me tell you..it does and it should! We have historians for a reason....so, that facts and information..good and bad..will NEVER be forgotten. Why is someones credit history so important? Because tells a story of a persons character and accountability. Yet, why is it...when a man or a woman shows up..in the right clothes...with the hot body or beautiful car..or just telling us what we want to hear in that moment...that, that is all it takes. We choose to ignore or even look into the persons history or moral character. Has he/she ever cheated? "Well, he/she won't with me!" Has that person ever neglected their child? "Well, they wouldn't do that to our child!" Has that person ever committed a crime, had drug convictions, gotten fired from jobs or even been irresponsible with their pets?
If you were worked for a car dealership and you reviewed the persons credit report, would you be able to give him the car? If you were interviewing this person to work for you, would you hire them based on their work history and personal references? Stop and think for a minute.....if you wouldn't even consider hiring this person....based on their proven track record...then why on earth would you allow yourself the possibility of falling in love with them? The answer is simple. You place more value in protecting the interest of a company, than in, protecting your own heart and future. Isn't your heart...your life...a little more valuable than a car? Of course it is! So, in the future..before the "I love yous" get the facts, ask the questions, listen to the answers and let their story..their personal history...be the deciding factor...not the wine and roses. Because once the romance is gone..all that you and your heart will be left with..is the persons moral character.